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Facebook or sex? Which one would you pick?

December 18, 2014 by Andrew Leave a Comment

The retailer Ecigarette Direct isn’t just focusing on their Christmas offers to resupply people with vape goodies like e-liquids and electronic cigarette kits. They’re also asking the British public about addictions.

Me_surfing_the_internet_by_gortana

The survey turned up some results that you might expect. Over 50% of the public figure that gaming can be an addiction but it’s not clear whether they meant spending time on the PlayStation 4 or spending money on the likes of Ladbrokes.

Beauty was also an addition. 34% of people said that the urge to look good could also count and some 22% of people admitted they “couldn’t live” if they couldn’t look good. That’s quite a scary figure.

There were some surprises though. Who do you think would be more likely to value a relationship? Men or women? The survey suggested that men might be the more sentimental sex. In the UK 37% of men said they couldn’t cope if they weren’t in a relationship. A smaller number, just 27% of women, said the same thing.

Is Facebook a relationship substitute? The survey didn’t ask whether people would put Facebook ahead of sex but did ask about social media as well as relationships. Women are more likely than men to suggest that social media could become addictive. 54% of women told the survey that social media was a possible addiction and only 45% of men did.

In Pure Spirit

Do you agree with these stats? Is looking good, playing games and social media possible sources of addiction?

If you had to say farewell to either sex or Facebook for the rest of your life – which would you pick?

Image credit: Gortana.

British women prefer sex in an elevator to any other unusual location

November 27, 2014 by Andrew Leave a Comment

Thousands of women on a dating site designed for married people looking for affairs took part in a survey about sex in unusual locations.

84% of cheating British women told Victoria Milan that they fantasize about having sex somewhere other than the bedroom.

Top of the list was the elevator or lift with nearly 1 in 5 of mistresses admitting to the fantasy.

The least popular place for sex was outside in the wild.

vicmi

In Pure Spirit

What do you think about these results? Are they in-line with what you would have guessed? Are they boring? Could you suggest a better alternative location?

A look at The Secret Lives of Married Women

December 13, 2013 by Meridian Leave a Comment

I’ll be honest. I didn’t fully appreciate the scope and depth of this novel until I was partway through.

The Secret Lives of Married Women

And that is not at all because the panty dropping forays increased in intensity at that point.

Once into the meatier half of Elissa Wald’s book, I found myself drawing entirely new and startling conclusions about the protagonists, having been presented with familiar sensations in incredibly polarized situations. Even though I didn’t see myself as any of the characters, I saw myself in those pages. A massive achievement on the authors part.

The first half of the novel follows a woman named Leda and her… somewhat strained relationship with her husband Stas. I found this half – though delicious, somewhat difficult to assimilate. As if I were trapped somewhere between measuring the conflicts relative to Leda’s narrative, yet struggling to compartmentalize what she was feeling with how I thought she should be feeling, and reacting accordingly (a trap for the pragmatic, omnipresent reader).

The story evolves however, whether the reader is ready for it or not. An equally enticing and revealing look at Leda’s twin and opposite Lillian, and a woman named Nan quickly dispels the hazardously negotiated feelings of control and expectation the reader has garnered thus far.

I am loath to give away any details of the plot for fear of shattering the illusion cast upon the reader while gorging on this story, for the pinnacle of the writers success here is not only in the suspense, but the emphatic array of conflicting emotions that bleed through every page. The biggest surprise of all, being that you have soaked them yourself, regardless if you agree or disagree with the conclusions wrought by the characters.

Despite my subconscious attempts at distancing myself from the stories to discern their likely outcomes, or at least to anticipate the value of the problems they encounter, the very nature of the conflicts faced by Leda, Lillian and Nan elicits an intensive introspection that is not limited to an empathetic understanding of the direct problems faced, but encourages an unapologetic consideration of any situation in which your heart and your mind are at odds.

The meaningful and realistic way the author deals with the characters in the story is enchanting, and, truly, it did feel as if a spell had been broken when I closed the book and put it down. A part of me felt bereft. As short as the book is (and I believe it is best that way) there was a sense of loss – a directionless appeal for the clarity and comfort that the author manages to conceal between the lines.

I would be remiss in classifying this book as an erotic thriller, for that fails to encapsulate the entirety of what Elissa Wald has done. She has laid bare the most basic instincts of our psyche in a stark and haunting exposure, such that it at once offends, confounds, and exults in the personal struggles we all face with our deepest, darkest secrets.

In Pure Spirit

Did you explore a deeper meaning in Wald’s novel?

Would you consider the book based on its psychological implications, the naughty bits, or both?

Disclosure: My copy of the book was provided for review. The Secret Lives of Married Women by Elissa Wald. Titan Books

Atheists enjoy sex more than the devout

May 20, 2011 by Andrew Leave a Comment

A study of more than 14,500 people carried out by doctors from the Kansas University has discovered that atheists have better sex lives than the religiously devout. The researched showed that the religious where more likely to feel guilty after sex and atheists more likely to explore sexual fantasies. Both groups had sex as often and engaged in similar activities.

In the study psychologist Darrel Ray and Amanda Brown discovered that both groups became sexually active at around similar ages and had sex roughly the same number of times a week. The religiously devout, however, rated their sex lives lower than than the atheists.

Not all religions were the same; the biggest difference was around levels of “sexual guilt” felt after intercourse. Strict religious groups such as Mormons ranked among the most guilty, rating their levels of blameworthiness at 8.19 out of 10. The next most “guilty” group included Jehovah’s Witness, Pentecostal, Seventh Day Adventist and Baptist devotees. Catholics clocked in sexual guilt levels of 6.34/10 in the survey, followed by Lutherans with 5.88 and atheists and agnostics ranked as the less guilty with levels of 4.71/10 and 4.81.

It was also reported that people who had lost their belief and become atheists also reported significant improvements in their sex lives.

In a worrying turn, the research also suggested that children raised in strongly religious homes were more likely to get their only sex education from pornography as they were not confident enough to discuss sex with their parents.

In Pure Spirit

What do you make of this survey? It’s a piece of academic research with a very large user base so it accurate? Do you agree with the findings or do you find it hard to believe?

Picture credit: Tracie Masek, released under Creative Commons

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