Editor’s note: This article was originally published in 2017 for Newzlet, and updated for 2023 because Trump clearly hasn’t changed.
Have you ever wanted to get your own back on someone who has wronged you?
Of course you have; one could argue it’s only human for us to have those vengeful feelings.
For instance, that person who stole your idea during a meeting at work – perhaps you got them back by calling them out on their thievery to your mutual boss (or putting salt in their sugar container when they weren’t looking).
Or perhaps that spiteful ‘friend’ who spread a malicious rumour about you for reasons you can’t quite fathom? So, you decided to block them from your social media and not invite them to the party of a century (at yours, featuring Doritos and all the trimmings, with those special cheese and bacon rolls from M&S).
Ooh! This is a good one: how about the time you asked for help after your latest bankruptcy, only for five people to refuse – so you decided right there and then to spend the rest of your life “destroying” those five people?
“Wait a minute, woah there.” – I hear you say. Surely that’s a step too far? Well, not for Donald Trump, according to a revelation by Virgin founder and business mogul Sir Richard Branson.
Here’s what Branson said at the time:
“Even before the starters arrived he began telling me about how he had asked a number of people for help after his latest bankruptcy and how five of them were unwilling to help. He told me he was going to spend the rest of his life destroying these five people.”
Bit much, isn’t it? Sir Richard (quite rightly) found the conversation more than a little bit “bizarre” and wrote in his blog post that he advised Trump these activities probably weren’t the best way to spend his life.
Branson claimed to have told Trump that it would “eat him up and do more damage to him than them.”
The billionaire and successful businessman left the lunch date feeling “disturbed and saddened” by what he’d heard, and quite rightly went on to express concerns about Trump running for president.
Which brings me to the latest, very similar comment from Trump right now in 2023, who has now vowed to ‘go after’ Biden’s family in a bitter social media rant before he boarded the plane to his arraignment.
It doesn’t seem like he’s changed at all, does it?
So, what are the effects of revenge on a person?
It got me thinking of the effects holding such negative thoughts and vengeful desires can actually have on a person.
You may have heard the term: “revenge is sweet”. However, at least according to this study it’s actually bittersweet, with people left feeling both good AND bad about what they’ve done.
Psychologists’ research has also found that revenge can come at a price. This may not come as news to you, but dwelling on a negative situation and the unhappiness it has caused you can stop you from moving on with your life, leaving you feeling happy or even downright depressed.
No way! Really?! Y’don’t say.
Another non-surprise…
Social psychologist Ian McKee, PhD, of Adelaide University, Australia, linked vengeful tendencies to two main social attitudes; rightwing authoritarianism and social dominance, along with the motivational values that are hidden under the surface of those attitudes.
He said: “People who are more vengeful tend to be those who are motivated by power, by authority and by the desire for status. They don’t want to lose face.”
However, the results of McKee’s study stated that instead of providing a person with closure, revenge actually does the opposite, and “keeps the wound open and fresh”.
There’s also a lot to be said for all the “hippydippy nonsense” people share about sharing positivity, paying it forward and meditation in order to help further our mindful selves. The people who practice these techniques tend to be happier, less stressed, and more focused on bettering themselves and
their peers.
This whole subject also reminds me of a very poignant quote by Roald Dahl:
The above quote (and accompanying illustration by Quentin Blake) never fails to make me smile, regardless of how true or untrue it may be.
To sum it up…
Revenge can often seem ‘sweet’, but the price we pay may not be worth it in the long term, with the negative effects of revenge being less than desirable.
Instead, why not get out there, smell the roses and work on moving forward with your life, to the betterment of yourself, your family and your peers?
Paint a masterpiece, write a novel, find some other creative outlet to release those pent-up feelings of anger, frustration and hurt?
And certainly, whatever you do, don’t use it as a possible motivation to become president of the United States!
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